Crazy Daizy

I was the perfect mom before I actually had children.  Before my first child was born I knew exactly how I was going to raise her.  I taught school and watched how the parents of the sweet, well behaved children parented and swore up and down that I would not parent like so and so because their child was difficult and whatever they were doing at home was not working.  Yes, my child was going to always use her manners, follow directions the first time with a smile on her precious face, never whine, never throw a fit, and just be the perfect well rounded child.  I always promised myself I would get down to her level and explain things to her in a calm voice, I would not yell at my child.

 Then I actually had a child.  Monkey has been independent and a little high strung since day one.  She has a mind of her own and I’m grateful that she would rather lead than follow most of the time.  She has a vivid and active imagination and I love to watch it at work.  She doesn’t have nor has she ever had a shy bone in her body, which is both a good thing and a little scary.  She’s sweet, friendly, smart, and funny.  She’s a wonderful child and I do love being her mama!  I started offering her choices early on and we try to stick to some semblance of a schedule and usually things run smoothly.  However, lately we’ve been dealing with a lot of four year old drama!  

Clothing choices that were once acceptable are now not worthy of wear.  Clothes snob!  Not wanting to go to bed, not wanting to eat, crying over everything, and the whining, oh my goodness the constant whining.  Now, I totally get the bed thing.  I mean it’s still sunny here way past midnight and my sleep cycle is off too.  But the same argument, every night, please. This whole 18 to 20 hours of sunlight is really not working for me.  Of course neither does 18 to 20 hours of darkness…anyway, it’s crazy!  Preschool is out for summer.  Our schedule got thrown off when the hubby came home and left.  Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of activities for four year olds on this base.  I am hoping that these things are the cause of the changes in behavior or it’s just a four year old phase and she’ll get out of it soon!  

I’m still offering choices even though they are met with a whine and a grimace.  I’m trying to keep her occupied with outside play and indoor activities even though she tells me she’s bored.  I remind myself every day I need to parent to the needs of the child and apparently her needs have changed.  

I’ve been fortunate, I’ve been able to explain things to her and reason with her since she was pretty young.  I know people say you can’t reason with a child, but I can with Monkey to a degree.  I try to get down on her level and explain things calmly, but sometimes it seems that raising my voice is the only way to get her attention.  I’m also lucky that when she really needs it time-out works!  Four minutes in the laundry room in front of the washing machine. Nothing to play with, nothing to look at but a laundry basket, and I don’t think that even with her imagination she can make that exciting!  Normally she just sits in front of the washer and cries until her time is up.  Then of course we have to talk about why she got put there.  

So, my vision of the perfect parent/perfect child has been shattered.  Yes, I was a perfect parent before I was actually a parent!