Crazy Daizy

We went to the mall today so that I could buy a couple of maternity shirts. My pants still fit, but my shirts were getting way too tight and I couldn’t take it anymore! I bought a couple of simple tanks and two sleeveless shirts that can be worn out in public. I looked at the pants, but can’t bring myself to buy a pair yet since I can still fit into mine. I am considering buying a Bella Band so that I can wear my pants even longer. Since I’m not gaining a lot of weight (yet) I think this would be the best option.
I had a hard time standing in the dressing room trying on the shirts today and I feel so incredibly stupid and selfish now. Understand that I am ecstatic to be pregnant, since it’s so hard for me to conceive. When my husband was in Iraq I lost almost sixty pounds, I felt better about myself than I had in years. So, as I watch the scale (only once a week now instead of daily) slowly creep, I get anxious. As I stood in the dressing room with a maternity shirt on and turned sideways I started to cry. Hubby said he liked the shirt and all I could say, with tears streaming down my face was, “I am so fat.” He of course assured me I was not and that it’s all baby, which I know is true. I’m not a vain person, but in that dressing room today, well, it was hard. I realize that this sounds vain, selfish, and really stupid, but in my defense today has been a very emotional day. My hormones seem to be in overdrive! Maybe today was not the best day for clothes shopping!